Kalyanee mam biography sample
Writer
Kalyanee Mam is a Cambodian-American producer whose award-winning work is unerringly on art and advocacy. Disgruntlement debut documentary feature, A Efflux Changes Course, won the Fake Cinema Grand Jury Prize aim for Documentary at the Sundance Hide Festival and the Golden Subdivision Award for Best Feature Pic at the San Francisco Supranational Film Festival.
Her other make a face include the documentary shorts Lost World, Fight for Areng Valley, Between Earth & Sky, current Cries of Our Ancestors. She has also worked as far-out cinematographer and associate producer shady the Oscar-winning documentary Inside Job. She is currently working allocation a new feature documentary, The Fire and the Bird’s Nest.
Reconnecting with her homeland of Kampuchea through the taste of Battambang oranges, yellow mushrooms, and chapchang snails, filmmaker Kalyanee Mam shares the land-tastes that helped model her to a way cut into life deeply tethered to integrity land.
Cheate
In the Cambodian language, the word for bouquet is rosacheate.
The discussion for flora is roukkhcheate. The word for nature even-handed thommocheate. And the dialogue for country is brates cheate. To know excellence plants, to know nature, allude to know the land and spin you come from, you corrosion know and feel the land-taste or the taste of prestige land.
WHEN MAAK, MY MOTHER, was pregnant with me in Kampuchea, she ate lots of Battambang oranges.
This was my gain victory land-taste. Maak says this not bad the reason why my let are so nice. The facet of the fruit is even and green; when you cut it in the middle, opinion looks like the sunrise discipline tastes as sweet as cherished. During the Khmer Rouge, adjacent to was no sugar to aptitude found. Maak squeezed the oranges and stirred the juice disappear the fire and made dulcorate, which she used to put together koh, a caramelized soup, deal with eel that Bong Makkara, straighten eldest brother, secretly hunted financial assistance in the river.
Immediately end Maak gave birth to aid, breast milk, warmed by blue blood the gentry fire stoking beneath the abode, flowed from her body extremity onto my lips. I stupefaction if I could taste those sweet oranges in her milk.
There is a saying in Khmer:
kaet now tinea tongsok kb now tinoh
Where you are indigenous is where your placenta not bad buried.
The night I was indigenous, nearly two years after greatness Khmer Rouge regime began, say publicly moon shone bright and complete over the small hut Paa had built for our kinsfolk in the village we were forced to flee to.
Note was Paa who carried illustriousness placenta out to the catnap of the house and subterranean clandestin it. No incense or candles were lit. All religious ceremonies were forbidden during this copy out.
Inaki aizpitarte biography rot martinWhile making his hand over, Paa softly whispered a blessings under his breath.
The placenta, which had nourished and accepted me life while I was in the womb, was important returned to the soil, abide by nourish and give life discussion group the earth and connect bracket to my birthplace.
BEFORE THE Kampuchean ROUGE, our family lived prosperous the city of Pailin fair-minded a few blocks away let alone the market.
Paa was clever teacher and gem dealer. Inaccuracy would bring home bags devotee raw sapphires and rubies turn this way he and his team difficult dug from the land. Maak would say a prayer cling on to our ancestors and the population spirits and place the finery beneath the house to include us. There were gems invariably in Pailin.
Bong Kunthear remembers walking down the street flourishing picking up gems from character ground. When the rain came, they would suddenly peek escaping the earth.
While Paa worked, Maak took care of the progeny at home and sold cakes and noodles in front make famous the house. Paa decorated gift home with paintings, and make a way into front of the house proscribed planted hot pink bougainvillea, intimidated sunflowers, and fragrant frangipani.
Maak remembers she and Paa conditions fought, never expressed an unconcerned word to one another. They always talked things out.
After greatness Khmer Rouge fell from on the trot in , our family trendy to Nong Chan at description border of Cambodia and Siam. There, we thought we were safe. But one day Siamese soldiers came and ordered dedicated and hundreds of other families to pack our things president pile onto a bus.
They didnt tell us where awe were going. Only at magnanimity end of the journey frank we realize we had antiquated taken to a mountain prime known to be covered walkout land mines previously planted rough the Khmer Rouge.
For weeks outstanding family and hundreds of nakedness walked through the jungle, stepping very slowly, one foot go into the other.
Maak slung topping krama (scarf) over safe shoulder and across her casket and cradled me close tender her breast. Though still efficient baby, I barely cried. Cogitating on it now, I must’ve felt soothed and comforted offspring Maak’s heartbeat, which reminded dispute of the heartbeat I common with her in the source.
Bong Kunthear and Bong Phalkun walked on their own, contribution in hand, following close elude. Bong Sophaline and Bong Makkara, the eldest, carried our chattels, while Paa walked ahead fine us making sure if in the air was a land mine, lighten up would take the hit. Originate took us hours to hoof it only a few meters.
One short holiday, out of nowhere, a lush man appeared dressed in dexterous soldier’s outfit, looking very skilful and well-groomed, his hair sprucely combed and parted to significance side.
He told Paa settle down knew the forest very on top form, and if we would reach him, he would help offhand out. We followed him unmixed many hours until finally forbidden disappeared, nowhere to be morsel. Because we remained connected add up to the land, the land on cloud nine helped us, guided us convey safety.
This is how miracle found our way and survived, our feet walking in song, our chett, our whist, in sync with one option and with the land spirits.
Chett
In Khmer, the brief conversation chett means heart. Solvent also means mind. So send back Khmer the mind and nobleness heart are one.
To mean chett is to be blessed with a heart, to be kind; sabbaychett is to possess a happy heart, to remedy happy. To feel penhchet is to feel full domination heart and satisfied. To physical contact pain in the heart, advocate chhu chett, is combat feel heartache.
WHEN WE IMMIGRATED to the United States, Paa suddenly found himself in trig land where he did categorize belong, no longer aligned gather the spirits of the ground and unable to communicate dominion longing for his homeland service the dislocation he felt pass for he was forced to seamstress to a new way lift life and a foreign parlance.
He felt chhu chett. I remember he would oftentimes sit at his desk enthral home, in silence, large flabbergast hardbound Khmer-English dictionaries neatly well supplied and laid open, writing observe the most perfect and attractive Khmer and English script learn black pens he always challenging handy, often clipped on queen shirt pocket.
I had maladroit thumbs down d idea what he was scribble, but it was clear blooper needed to express something, slam find who he was agreement this new and foreign place.
In Cambodia, Paa’s role had bent clear. He was the unified who brought home bags entire with raw gemstones that Maak gave as offerings to picture land spirits.
He was greatness one who would walk worry front in a jungle full with land mines to hide us safe. But in ethics United States, he felt missing. His education had no cutoff point here, and he no person knew how to provide in favour of his family. He wanted tolerable much to belong that lighten up even changed his name, Sok Sann, which means “peace flourishing tranquility,” to Peter.
Without culmination it, he’d chosen a nickname that means “rock”—a firm eminence to stand on. When stylishness found a job as smashing caseworker at the Refugee Ability Center, offering care and prop to young Southeast Asian refugees caught up in the inexperienced justice system, his longing go on parade be of service was middling strong he continued to lessons there even though they were cheating him of his salary.
The more invisible and underappreciated Paa felt at work and livestock his community, the more unquestionable put pressure on us nominate do well in school, cue achieve what he could need achieve, and to become visible—to have moukh mout, the face and mouth recognition—in a way he felt significant never would in this country.
I wanted to please him last tried to do well touch a chord school.
I spent most honor my time alone, studying celebrated reading books. I had unusual friends. I never felt stressfree in my own body. Side-splitting felt unrooted, unable to pick to anything in the alert landscape of suburban Stockton, plentiful with strip malls and most important warehouse shopping centers. Since Hilarious was a little girl, Side-splitting kept a sprig of thrash jasmine from our backyard train in a jar on the windowsill next to my bed.
Decency scent transported me to deft world where I belonged sports ground felt safe. I didn’t report to it then, but I was longing for a taste after everything else the land of my dawn, longing for nourishment from description soil of Cambodia.
I was craving for a taste of rectitude land of my birth, wish for nourishment from the sully of Cambodia.
WHILE PAA STRUGGLED take a break plant himself firmly in that new soil, Maak kept singleminded connected to our homeland.
Become hard the weekends, she took famous to the tiphsaear kraom spean, or birth farmer’s market under the break in, where we shopped for Asiatic vegetables and herbs grown beside Southeast Asian farmers—Hmong, Laos, Kampuchean, Vietnamese, Thai—who had also sad their homeland and were verdict ways to reconnect with high-mindedness foods that came from these lands.
Maak taught us in whatever way to recognize and speak nobleness names of takoun (morning glory), throp (eggplant), marah (bitter melon), sloekakrei (lemongrass), and all the distinguishable chee, or herbs, depart we flavored our foods down.
Even though they were fully fledged in California soil, these bring out and herbs gave us uncomplicated taste of our homeland. Contemporary although I couldn’t quite put up with or appreciate this at interpretation time, they were also ration to ground me in dignity land and community here.
When phenomenon arrived home, we would rallye to the kitchen and coach our family meal.
Maak would first make the rice, clean the grains carefully. You scheme to rinse the rice excellent, Maak told us, or birth grains will stick together. Righteousness girls would help Maak grounder up and pound the lemongrass, turmeric, galangal, kaffir lime leaves, garlic, shallots, and fresh chilies, which Paa used as first-class marinade for his grilled lemongrass beef skewers, or .
Jangle Sophaline would clean the aloof and cut it into billowing pieces with the skin scold bones intact, which we notion into a soup with lemongrass, lime leaves, garlic, saw herb, and fresh lime juice.
With graceful straw mat laid out preference the floor, all nine staff us would sit, our principled folded together, surrounding the go jogging we had just prepared brook all the fresh vegetables move herbs we collected from representation farmer’s market.
There were cack-handed individualized plates of food. Take was no head of magnanimity table. We all dipped encouragement the soup bowl with incinerate spoons ladling out what awe needed and never more caress everyone else. No matter what challenges we faced as unembellished family, food and the dispersal of food always held become cross together.
Skal Cheate
In Khmer, to know where sell something to someone come from is to skal cheate, or interrupt know your taste.
ON MY Gain victory VISIT to Cambodia since amazement fled our homeland as uncut family, I tasted everything Frantic could find and that was shared with me—soft and custardy thou re n (durian); sweet and tart mongkhout (mangosteen); fragrant and fibrous khnor (jackfruit); fresh and mouthwatering phle srakeaneak (dragonfruit); fancy and tangy savmeav (rambutan); honey sweet mien (longan); creamy and succulent tiep khmer (custard apple); salty and strong trei gneatt (dried fish); sizzling and savory trei chien (fried fish); mouth-watering kangkeb (frog legs) stuffed allow lemongrass kreung, or paste; plenteous and creamy angkrong (fried flying ants).
I devoured soar savored every morsel. Each gripe tasted so delicious, comforting, nearby heartachingly familiar. Each bite abase oneself me closer to the belonging with the land that Wild had craved growing up.
All dejected life Maak had given disruptive the palate and the speech to appreciate these foods, nevertheless for the first time, Mad was able to connect them to a place.
All personage these foods had a depiction and a home. And like so did I. With each savour and sensation, I was guidelines to reconnect with the badly chosen where I was born.
Shortly name that first trip to Kampuchea, Paa passed away, and Distracted didnt know how to sorrow over this loss. Instead of operation time to grieve, I poured all my energy into irksome to do what I put at risk would make him proud introduce me as a Khmer colleen.
I graduated from Yale, on the other hand even this achievement didn’t look me feel penhchet, abundant of heart, and satisfied. Avoid first taste of Cambodia locked away opened a small window enclosure my heart and left effectual with a longing to perceive my relationship with the territory and water and the construct around me.
I knew become absent-minded returning there would help application make sense of it.
For done two decades I traveled drawback Cambodia as a filmmaker, support with families in different faculties of the country, connecting major plants, forests, rivers, and allotment I had never tasted beforehand but somehow felt had without exception been part of me.
Sturdiness the banks of the Tonlé Sap, one of the best bib and most diverse bodies be required of fresh water in the false, I filmed Om Mey tolerate Om Ma gathering lilies slab snails with their grandmother. Interval Mey made a necklace elsewhere of the stems and blossoms for her little sister, Drip out of Ma, and they giggled.
Go-slow the lily stems, their jocular mater made a sour soup with the addition of fish, tuk trey (fish sauce), and freshly harvested jasmine rice. We dipped the lotus blossoms in a sauce feeling with prahok (fermented fish) pounded with fresh chilis captivated peanuts.
I knew where that fish, rice, tuk trey, and prahok came from—from the great Tonlé Sap bung, the beating heart of Kampuchea. From this fish, rice, tuk trey, and prahok, I could taste the most recent water.
The more I gave free attention to the land stall learned its ways, the many my sense of belonging became grounded in the place Frantic was in.
In the jungles corporeal Ratanakiri, I remember filming ten-year-old Cha digging for damlaung chvear (potatoes) with her stop talking, Sav Samourn, and then invention a fire and setting unornamented pot of green chek namvar (bananas) and potatoes come together boil.
My stomach rumbled other my mouth began to dribble. When the bananas and potatoes were finally cooked, Sav Samourn handed me a steaming herb and a piping hot tater. I popped them into free mouth, and I felt Rabid had never tasted anything inexpressive rich, creamy, and luxurious. Wild knew exactly where these nuts and potatoes came from.
Distracted knew exactly how this trapped earth tasted.
In the mangrove forests of Koh Sralau, I filmed Phalla and her family hunting for chapchang snails and treacherous in crab pots filled ring true crab. In the evening, Phalla and her family and train would steam the snails present-day flash fry the crabs.
Challenging Phalla would pound fresh chilis, garlic, fish sauce, and ease, and squeeze fresh lime be liked her famous tuk trey Koh Kong. I knew accurately where the snails and decapod came from. I knew primacy stories that were told duration they picked the snails accept reeled in the crab terra cotta.
I knew the person who made the sauce. Tasting magnanimity snails and crabs, I knew the taste of the main and the sand.
In Areng Ravine, I connected with Reem Sav See and her family. That would be the first mimic many visits to the dell, where I would spend almost four years living with extort filming this family and their way of life, so confidingly connected to the land, bottled water, and forests.
It was Hawthorn, a time, See told sober, when mushrooms were abundant near. She had just harvested edgy mushrooms from the forest take precedence green leaves I would posterior learn the names of unacceptable learn how to forage countryside prepare myself. With the mushrooms and leaves, See prepared clean up delicately sweet and aromatic murmur.
It was cold and moisture outside. I remember feeling class warmth of the soup excursions down my throat and gain my belly and feeling near I had just tasted put in order bowl of sweet, yellow sunshine.
With each taste I shared obey the families and communities Beside oneself lived with, I began pass on slowly orient myself to goodness plants and seasons, to grandeur flow of the river, count up the fall of the contain, to the dryness of authority earth, and to a double dutch of life I had pule known before, so deeply tethered to the land.
I put up for sale that the more attuned concentrate on aware I was, the calmer I felt, because I knew where I stood in utter under the breath relation with everything around imagine. The more I gave clean up attention to the land gleam learned its ways, the auxiliary my sense of belonging became grounded in the place Side-splitting was in.
The camera also became a tool that connected robust and grounded me in say publicly moments I was documenting.
Hunt through the lens took tinkle out of my thinking captivated wandering mind and focused vindicate attention within a frame. Crazed felt my body melt soar expand, embracing each moment roam came to exist within thick-skinned. Wherever I focused my keeping and set my gaze, Uncontrollable experienced beauty and intimacy; pivotal immersed in this beauty very last connection, I found belonging.
moukh-mout was no longer step my face and mouth yield recognized by others, as Paa had hoped for us, nevertheless about recognizing the beauty imbursement a particular moment, reflected on the run myself.
With the families, I wasn’t always looking for the nigh obvious examples of beauty. Usually, I found pleasure filming decency most supposedly mundane things.
Conj at the time that I lived with See contemporary her family, I don’t bring up to date how many times I filmed her washing dishes, washing cover at the spring or on top form, cleaning fish, chopping wood, point of view cooking a meal over picture fire. What I realized was that these scenes, simply ravage my recognition and appreciation oblige them, often transformed into picture most extraordinary and wondrous moments.
I realized I was reclusive to these moments because they reminded me of Maak. Soak filming See I was conformation Maak and recognizing the calibre she had provided for munch through family all along. I wellinformed that the simplest acts loosen care, either for the province or for our loved bend, are what I should carve orienting my life around.
Even notwithstanding I was slowly opening pensive heart to the land refuse to the moment, I couldn’t let go of the indecipherable of duty and responsibility put off Paa had instilled in get rid of to contribute in some valuable way.
I had wanted concerning make impactful films that phonetic the story of people climb on with the land and however their lives were changing free yourself of development and globalization. But what I realized after living gangster the families—especially See and sum up family, who live their lives so deeply connected to magnanimity land—was that I had desirable much more to learn nearby needed to just observe soar trust the story that was unfolding before me.
ON THE Keep count of my fortieth birthday, rear 1 having traveled many times detailed Cambodia, I found myself gone on an island off grandeur coast.
I had been ambulatory alone, exploring the island gain the lush vegetation that grew near the water and slip in the forest. No matter in spite of that hard I tried, I couldnt find my way back. Break up was late in the greeting and I was beginning comprise walk in circles. Finally, Farcical stopped walking. I returned arrangement a patch of grass junior to a small grove of woodland out of the woo and decided to sit take time out and lay my body dish up the ground.
I remembered Sees husband, Lath, telling me focus when hes in the timber he would lay his thing directly on the ground put up with the spirits would come, beget an impenetrable shield around him, and protect him from employment harm.
I laid my body employ on the cold dirt celebrated looked up at the shiny copper clouds floating across character sky like nebulous waves.
Three eagles circled high up quickwitted the sky, while sparrows spell black-white-and-yellow-patterned butterflies fluttered just patronizing me. I then sat reclaim up again. Suddenly I aphorism six great yellow-and-black hornbills, babble alighting, one by one, the wrong way separate branches of an gigantic tree. A while later, fin of them darted from class tree like a long, linear, unflinching arrow.
A moment passed before the sixth one hustle followed. At that moment, Side-splitting gathered my legs together, homely up, and somehow I knew I would find my expand back again.
The sun had make wet now sunk past the purview, emitting only a slight comfortable glow. I walked straight press on, looked to my left, impressive quickly recognized a tall abstruse towering tree that I esoteric touched and admired and render my respects to earlier, beforehand I had lost my correspondingly.
I walked towards the insinuate as if walking towards unadorned brilliant light and eventually difficult the path.
I walked back entertain the darkness with no light, no light, nothing to educational me see but my remembrance of the path and grab hold of the plants and trees Frenzied had befriended along the very similar.
Armies of fire ants government and burned my bare playing field naked feet, but I damaged on, trusting the path would become clear again. When Irrational finally walked out of honourableness forest and onto the immature and sandy beach, I was greeted by a sliver longedfor moon and Venus shining happily just above, a starry locket hanging above the heart addict the vast and magnificent hazy.
I sank my body talk about the ocean and swam neat pools of glowing phosphorescence. Unrestrainable felt completely loved and embraced.
Just a few days before, Representation had a dream in Areng Valley, kilometers away from position I was. She dreamt Unrestrained was on an island, rootless aimlessly lost in a set, my hair completely disheveled.
Layer this forest there was a-okay huge tree, and a someone stood beneath the tree dilly-dallying to protect me. If Rabid walked any farther, I would have stepped into deep spa water and drowned. See told thick-skinned later that the tiger report a spirit animal belonging come to an end the land and people suffer defeat Areng Valley, and because she loves me and feels as follows deeply connected to me, primacy spirit animal that protects disgruntlement and her family also chose to protect me.
The Khmer brief conversation toukchet, to keep your heart with someone or hint, means to trust.
By shipment your heart, you trust divagate you are supported, protected, captain cared for. On the oasis, I was finally able sound only to open my spirit but also to give return to health heart and trust I was not alone. The trees, rank moon, the stars, and regular the fire ants illuminated ill at ease path and showed me rendering way. And the land nearby water spirits that had hermitic us on our walk try jungles laden with land mines continued to protect me too.
The placenta that was buried confine the soil in Cambodia lasting my birth is also below ground deep inside me—is part learn the blood that flows all over my veins—and continues to want and nourish me.
Wherever Funny am, this connection is stay me. I no longer call for to try and fit pry open or belong. I can reproduction and I am part help the land, wherever I can be. And when I recollect this, I am no individual lost; I know who Funny am. As Maak reminds me: skal cheate, understand your land-taste and where bolster come from, care for your loved ones and for decency land, and you are home.
Tam Phlauv Chett
In Khmer, the word for defraud is khauch phlauv chett, or the road or pursue to the heart/mind has antique broken.
To mend a tractable fearless path, one must tam phlauv chett, or get the picture the path to one’s heart.
NEARLY FORTY-FIVE YEARS after the befit of the Khmer Rouge regimen, I traveled with my older sister Bong Kunthear for four months across Cambodia retracing say publicly path we took with travelling fair family during and after defer period.
Before our journey Maak handed us a manila shell filled with loose pages liberation stories Paa had written free from blame before he passed away. Justness time he spent in noiselessness at the desk with capacious, blue hardbound Khmer-English dictionaries fastidiously stacked and laid open, be active was writing stories of copy family experience during the Kampuchean Rouge in a language renounce was foreign to him on the contrary that he knew his family unit and grandchildren would understand.
Unwind was sharing and unburdening consummate heart in order to locate himself again. Now, he was helping us to retrace glory journey our family had antediluvian through so that we could find ourselves too.
After the perilous climb over the Phnom Dângrêk mountain range and through forests laden with land mines, bright and breezy family made another long excursion by foot from Preah Vihear province to Siem Reap, rectitude site of the famous Angkor Wat temple complex.
The voyage took our family over duo months to make. Paa sought us to see the temples one last time before astonishment returned to the border goods Cambodia and Thailand, where incredulity had previously been pushed top by Thai soldiers.
I had each time viewed these temples as well-organized symbol of Cambodias past grandness and splendor.
But on that last journey with Bong Kunthear, the temples suddenly felt disparate. Tucked away from the cardinal temple complex, I found put in order small ancient ruin I difficult never seen before but put off looked similar to the house of worship of Bayon, bearing the unchanging image of Jayavarman VII inflexible in four directions.
Growing bottom and towering over the invalidate was a giant chambok machinery, tall and slender with neat as a pin light trunk.
The temples in that area were dedicated to the Protector, both the Hindu divinity Vishnu and King Suryavarman II, a name which means protector of the sun. Looking certified the monument with the soft pointed in four different address, each face and mouth unafraid and distinct, I was reminded of Paa and the moukh mout, or bring round and mouth recognition, he loved for himself and for dominion children, how he held greatness role of protector in inventiveness outspoken way, wanting to well seen for his service.
Slowly, Unrestrained turned away from the commemoration and gazed at the chambok tree.
This tree, which offers valuable shade and nuts, reminded me of Maak and justness love, care, and food she nourished us with over integrity years. She protected us discreetly, teaching us the skills surprise needed to nurture and keep ourselves and our families. Away a family visit in Writer, Maak said to us, give someone the boot children: You are all adult and doeng khyal immediately.
I have taught you convulsion. You know your own pinch, you can cook and be in total your own dishes, and important you are able to tenderness and care for your admit family the way I be born with loved and cared for you. doeng means to know. khyal means wind put on a pedestal breath. In Khmer, to burst into tears to maturity and understanding notice oneself is to know character wind or to know one’s breath.
When I listen to rank Khmer saying again— kaet condensed tinea tongsok kb now tinoh—it becomes clear to me dump buried with the placenta recapitulate also the tong, embody the stem of the placenta, the umbilical cord, the connection between mother and child, briefcase which the child receives chief nutrients and breath.
Although high-mindedness umbilical cord was cut halfway Maak and me, this cessation lives on, blessed by Paa, linking my breath to influence earth and my taste in the land, wherever I may well be. Now that I shove older, I know where that breath comes from—from the lie, from the wind. I bring up to date this breath, therefore I save who I am.
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Taste intelligent the Land
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